Smoke
by tatertots370
Summary: Anna's picked up a bad habit, and it reminds her of something. She wants to quit, so she's going to do it the only way she can. AnnaRyan. Complete.
1. One

**Smoke**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, or have anything to do with it. Just an obsessed fan. Aren't we all?

**A/N: **That's "Author's Note", as they hip kids know. Well golly gee, looks like this is my first Anna/Ryan, which is funny, because I love those two but I barely ever publish any of my stories that have them really interacting.

* * *

Anna knows how people see her. When they look at her they see choppy and dyed blonde hair, funky and bright clothes, an emo girl, a warning that she's different from the preppy-Abercrombie-wearing girls, one of those teens that hates smokers.  
  
There's more then what they see. Maybe she likes experimenting with her hair. Maybe she likes bright colors. Maybe she doesn't even like emo all that much. Maybe she used to want to be like the preppy girls but wasn't accepted. Maybe she actually buys cigarettes and smokes in her backyard or whenever she goes outside to "read in peace".  
  
Yeah, cigarettes make her breath smell and teeth a little less white, and she's completely aware of the health risks. But they remind her of Newport. Not as much Newport as they reminde her of Ryan and the time he kissed her.  
  
They were at the beach. Their shoes were off and they walked near the water, shallow enough to get only their feet wet. Seth and Anna were over. Ryan and Marissa were over. Ryan told Anna to stop paying attention to Seth because there was more out there. Anna told Ryan to stop trying to save Marissa because he didn't deserve that. They talked about how they understood each other. Ryan told Anna stories about his childhood. She knew she was possibly the only person who he told that to, and that let her know how much he trusted her. That was good, because she told him she trusted him right back.  
  
He inhaled and exhaled the smoke and together they stopped walking. He offered her the cigarette. She took a brief inhale and coughed. He laughed a little and took back the cigarette.  
  
Ryan, with his cigarette in his left hand by his side, opened his mouth a little and slipped his tongue into Anna's mouth. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper, savoring the taste of his tongue, his lips, his breath, his mouth.  
  
So, on some days in Pittsburgh, once or twice a month, she takes out a cigarette, slips off her shoes, dangles her feet in her cold pool, and tastes Ryan.  
  
She wishes he had tasted like something besides smoke.  
  
Maybe next time, he would. Maybe like mints or fruit, something not addictive and something she likes. She did, however, like his kiss.  
  
Anna's determined to have a next time. But until then, she has her smoke. _Their_ smoke. 


	2. Two

**Smoke**

**Disclaimer:** I have no connection to the OC, I believe FOX and College Hill and Josh Schwartz have all of that. I'm obviously no professional OC writer, which now exist, and write the ish that is "The Outsider"...ugh. Sorry for the random diss in the disclaimer.

**A/N 1: **I know a lot of people thought it was a standalone, and I'll admit, it sounded like one and I do write and awful lot of them, but I've decided to make this a chapter fic. I'm not thinking it'll go on for too long.

* * *

Around early-July is when the cleaning woman finds a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in Anna's room. Anna's upset, and thinks she hid them better then that, but apparently the cleaning woman wanted to straighten up the unnoticabely stratigically placed clutter next to her desk by her window.

The cleaning woman tells Anna's aunt and uncle, and they call her parents. Anna figures they'll think she's hanging out with the wrong crowd, maybe they'll even take her to meetings or something. She knows they hate smoking. She does too.

A few of her friends even noticed the smell, and one saw her buying a lighter at CVS once. They've tried to confront her together, but Anna claimed it's because her smoking cousin gave her some old clothes, and that she bought the lighter for her cousin. They wanted to believe her, so they did.

Anna assures her parents, aunt, and uncle she'll stop, but they don't believe her. They give her nicotine patches and chewing gum, and she throws it away. She just chews mint gum around them and pretends it's nicotine gum. She wants to stay addicted. She sneaks cigarettes whenever they're out, and then immediatly washes her clothes after.

She feels like if she says goodbye to smoking, she's saying goodbye to Ryan forever. Sometimes, she has trouble breathing, and she knows her lungs can't take it. She's not stupid, she remembers the smoking video her class watched in the eighth grade. She's becoming more and more afraid with every inhale of smoke. It's nobody's fault but her own. She shouldn't have started this habit in the first place. She wants so badly not to care about Ryan and to just have that kiss as another Newport memory, but it's more then that. He still intrigues her, even though he's all the way across the country.

Anna comes to the conclusion that until she sees, feels, touches, kisses, talks to Ryan again, she'll be hooked. And she decides she's going to California for a little while. She tells her parents she wants to visit her friends, and tells Seth and Summer she'll be coming July eighteenth and staying until August fifth.

She says goodbye to her friends and parents at the airport and they all drive off. Anna smokes her final cigarette, throws her lighter in the trash can, puts a piece of nicotine gum in her mouth, and walks into the airport. She hopes Ryan has stopped smoking, and this time he'll taste differently. She tries to make a plan as she sits on the plane, but can't, so she reads a magazine instead. She's wondering how he's changed and if he's seeing anyone. Her thoughts are interuppted when the plane lands.

She smiles broadly when she sees Seth and Summer waiting at the gate, their expressions matching hers. The smile changes from genuine to false when she sees that Ryan isn't there.

* * *

**A/N 2:** Huh? What? Seth's there? Yeah, it'll be explained next chapter, I'm not pretending he never left or anything. You'll see...


	3. Three

**Smoke**

**Disclaimer:** Well, no legal changes since last chapter, and I still have no rights to _The O.C. _Oh, that was a good one!

* * *

As Summer drives back from the airport to Newport, she and Seth explain what's happened over the summer. Anna learns that Seth's parents got the coast guard to bring him back home, and she isn't surprised. She is surprised, though, when she finds out that Ryan is back in Chino.

She's not sure how to react. She says she's upset, and she doesn't even dare to mention that he's the reason she's visiting. Seth drops Anna and Summer off and Summer's house, where Anna is staying.

Summer introduces Anna to her father and step-mother. They're cold to Anna, and Summer's father even asks if she smokes, because he doesn't want the house to smell like smoke. Anna quickly shakes her head. Nobody here knows.

Days begin to pass quickly. Anna and Summer spend a lot of time at the Cohen home with Seth and his parents, or at the beach with Marissa, or sometimes, but not a lot, at lunch with Seth and Marissa. The two of them seem to be very uncomfortable, and Anna knows there's something that happened that nobody has mentioned. She doesn't bother to ask.

Every once in a while, Summer lets Seth and Anna have their time alone. They talk about their common interests. It's killing Anna to ask Seth about Ryan, but she holds back and just chews on more gum and puts the patches under her clothes so nobody can see.

August fifth is approaching. Anna knows she doesn't have a lot of time. She wants to do what she came to do. She explains to Summer that she's going to visit Ryan in Chino, just to explore it alone. Summer understands and tells her she can use her car. Anna gets Ryan's address and directions from Seth. He wants to come, but she simply says she wants to get some alone time in the car. She's becoming good and weaving lies.

She turns on the car and drives to Chino. She's not sure what to expect. Maybe he'll be with Theresa or Marissa, or maybe not. But that's the element she likes about Ryan.

* * *

**A/N:** This is usually at the top, but everything I have to say involves the contents of the chapter. I know people may think Anna and Summer's closeness is a little iffy, and my explanation of that (You can have your own! It might be my story, but you're the reader and have your rights!) is that they talked over the internet, and that Summer feels like she should be around Anna and be a good hostess. But yeah. Some Anna/Ryan goodies next chapter.


	4. Four

**Smoke**

**Disclaimer:** Guess what? Josh _finally_ caved in, and now I own _The O.C._ Yay! Except not. Oh well, we can dream.

**A/N:** Here are the promised Anna/Ryan goodies. My longest chapter (in this story) yet! Thank you guys so much for reading, and a special super-stellar thanks to you guys who have reviewed! And, **miss suga**- Yay! Someone noticed. The really challenging thing to me is that I'm making this a non-dialogue story, and dialogue is usaully the main part of my stories.

* * *

Anna pulls up to Theresa's house. It looks sort of dingy and dark to Anna, but it seems more inviting than the other houses she's seen during her drive. 

She looks for the doorbell, but sees there isn't one, so she knocks instead. She looks around the front yard while she waits for someone to answer. She thinks Theresa will probably answer, and isn't sure how to introduce herself if she does.

She turns her eyes back to the door when she hears it squeak open. There stands Ryan. He's wearing a wife beater and jeans, and Anna can't even hide a little bit of her excitement.

He asks what she's doing here and she tells him that she's visiting. He invites her inside and her pulls her into a deep hug. She sniffs to get his scent, and he smells like breakfast syrup. There's not a hint of cigarettes. Anna takes this as a good sign. He tells her that Theresa and her mother are at the doctor's.

They sit down and she asks him how he's doing and asks about Theresa, and she questions him on his relationships with Marissa and Theresa. He responds by shaking his head, and Anna knows that he's not seeing either one. They talk for a while, and then Anna asks the question she's been itching to ask. Ryan replies saying that he started up again when he came, but Theresa told him to stop because she'd be tempted to start again, too. Anna's interested in the new knowledge that Theresa used to smoke, but isn't surprised.

Ryan looks at her and they're quiet for a little while, comfortable just staring at each other in silence. Anna breaks the silence, knowing that he wouldn't, and says she's going to go back and says Summer probably wants her car returned now. She can't bring herself to talk about the time at the beach. She's always been foward and outgoing, but Ryan does something to her that makes her weak. He turns her into a shy little girl on the inside, even though she tries desperately to hide it from him. She has a feeling he knows.

They walk together to the door and she says the average it-was-nice-seeing-you speech, and they exchange smiles. Anna almost opens the door when she hears Ryan's voice stopping her.

Ryan asks if she remembers the time when they were on the beach and kissed. Anna thinks about her favorite Newport memory and nods. He says that he still thinks about it sometimes, and confesses that he still has some feelings for her that he doesn't know how to describe.

Anna feels a bubble of happiness in her and smiles genuinly. She says she's felt the same way, and that it's been haunting her in Pittsburgh, in a way.

Ryan returns her comforting smile and she tilts her head a little, wondering if he's sharing her thoughts.

He leans down a little, and the second kiss she's been waiting for finally happens. She puts her tongue in his mouth, tasting. It tastes like strawberries, maple syrup, and a little like waffles. She can't help but giggle, thinking that she'll have to have breakfast all the time in Pittsburgh now.

He asks he why she's laughing with a light smile, and she shakes her head. They both resume their kissing, lasting longer than their previous time on the beach.

Together, they make their way to Ryan's room to talk and cuddle and share more kisses. Ryan doesn't want Theresa or her mother to come home and see them cuddling or kissing. Soon, Anna gets a call on her cell phone from a slightly irritated Summer, who wants her car back soon. Anna tells Ryan she should probably leave now, and they say their goodbyes. He says they'll be getting a computer soon, so he'll e-mail her.

Anna drives back to Newport with a feeling of happiness and emptiness. She's unsure where they are in their relationship, but she knows he is too. And she's okay with that.

* * *

**A/N 2:** It's not over yet. The epilogue will be up soon. So stay tuned. Ugh, I _hate_ that phrase. 


	5. Five: Epilogue

**Smoke**

**Disclaimer: **Surprise, surprise, I don't own _The O.C._ Aw, that's the last time I'll say that for this story...I'm so sad!

**A/N:** Funny, I named this "Smoke" but that whole topic is almost never mentioned in this chapter. Sadly, it's not as much a love-fest as the last chapter was. **Warning: If you don't like slash, which is same-sex couples, then I should tell you there's a quick mention of a male/male couple. Nothing graphic, I don't do that, plus, I'm underaged **(see, **muchtvs**? I'm a good girl!)

* * *

_Four Months Later..._

Anna begins her Christmas, or Chrismukkah, shopping early this year, on the second Saturday of December. She and her best friend and his boyfriend, Chris and Ben, all go out shopping together. The mall's a sort of dull place for Anna, but being with fun people brightens it up for her.

As the three browse stores together, searching for gifts for relatives and friends, Anna can't help but think of Ryan every time she sees Ben and Chris flirt, tease playfully, or steal quick kisses when they think nobody's watching. The afternoon starts to turn into night and the mall is making Anna naseous, with all the bright Christmas lights and the smell of pretzels and cheap Chinese food. She says goodbye to her friends and goes home.

Her aunt greets her by yelling from the kitchen, saying something about her uncle making broiled chicken for dinner when Anna comes in. Their relationship has improved since Anna really has stopped smoking. Anna shouts back and goes to her room, eager to get online. He hasn't written to her in a week. The e-mails usually come once evey other day.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she sees that there's a letter from him.

_Hey Anna!  
How's it going? I'm sorry it's been a while. I told you I wasn't good at this whole "staying-in-touch" thing. Theresa's getting big. Bigger then before. I mean, she's wearing clothes that are made only for pregnant women now. I'm afraid she'll go into labor any moment now, even though our doctor has said that the baby will probably be late. I know that'll drive Theresa crazy, she wants to (and this is a direct quote) "get the kid out right now".   
Kirsten, Sandy, and Seth dropped by the other day. Kirsten brought little light green booties, and I became completely freaked out. I'm having a kid. Well, I'm not, but Theresa's going to have a baby. There's no way I'm ready for that. It was one of those days when I wish that I had never came. I know, it's awful of me to think that. Eva (Theresa's mom, if you forgot) has been really good to me, even though she gives the occasional "A baby! And you two aren't **getting** married?" tirade. I know, in the back of my mind, the kid has a pretty big chance of not being mine. Which leads me to my next topic.  
Eddie, the guy who Theresa was dating and hit her, came here the a few days ago, Theresa was the only one here because I was grocery shopping with Eva. He said he wants a paternity test now. He said he'll be a father to the baby, and I think Theresa's still too afraid to tell him no. So, she took it the other day. You know that I'll stay even if the baby is Eddie's. The results come back in about a week, around the time when you come.  
I'm trying to ignore all of the hard hours of work and school and everything going on and just focus on your visit. December twentieth, December twentieth. I'm spending Christmas Eve with Theresa and Eva, and Christmas day with the Cohens.   
I better go. I miss you so much. Oh yeah, I read the comics you sent me. Thanks for starting me off easy with "The Archies". Psst, I think you're like Betty!   
-Ryan_

Anna smiles. She suddenly has a craving to eat breakfast at dinnertime. Waffles and strawberries, to be exact.

The next week and three days go by so slowly, and Anna goes through school anxiously. She finally finds herself on a plane to Newport again. She's chewing furiously on her gum. It's not nicotine anymore, she doesn't need it.

She gets off the plane and there are her parents, Seth, Summer, Marissa, and a tall boy Anna doesn't know. She knows that Ryan wouldn't be coming and she understands. She runs to hug them all. Marissa flashes her a smile and gives her a light hug. Marissa's still a little upset that Anna and Ryan are sort of together, but she's not holding her grudges aganist the two of them any more. Anna spots Marissa snuggled up to the boy while Anna talks to everyone, and she gives her a nod. Anna's happy to see that Marissa's not dwelling in the past.

When she gets home, she calls Ryan and is happy that she doesn't have to call long-distance to talk to him anymore. She says she got his e-mail, and that she can't wait to see him. They talk until Ryan has to go, Theresa needs his help. Anna decides it's time for bed.

Over the next few days, she goes shopping with Summer because, unlike Anna, Summer's waited two days before Christmas to buy her gifts. Summer tells Anna about how she gave Seth a small present during the first night of Hannukah, but she wants to give him a second one for Christmas.

The pair invite Marissa to join them, but she's busy with her new boyfriend, who is name Tyler. Summer explains to Anna that all Marissa talks about now is Tyler, and that she knows he's just a way for her to get over Ryan. Anna feels guilty.

On Christmas Eve, Anna feels excited. She puts the gifts for her parents under her tree and she and Ryan share a quick and sweet talk on the phone before he has to go eat dinner. Anna notices he has a lot of duties in the house.

It's Christmas Day and Anna and her parents exchange gifts. They smile and don't ask her too many questions. She's happy to be back with her mom and dad, she doesn't realize how much she misses them until she's with them. Anna tells her parents she'll be back later and uses her father's car to drive over to the Cohen home.

She pulls up to the driveway and a wave of excited goes through her body. She knows he's finally here. She knocks on the door and he opens it. Ryan pulls Anna into a long hug and a kiss. Anna notes to herself that he tastes like mints, probably from candy canes. She tries to make the kiss last as long as she can, because she knows she wants to remember it.

Anna says hello to Seth's parents, and they look surprised that Seth's old girlfriend is sort of dating Ryan.

Anna and Ryan hang out with a bored Seth for a little while, Summer isn't coming for a while. He realizes he should leave them alone and makes up an excuse about eggnog and decorations. Anna and Ryan go to the pool house, which now looks barren to the both of them. They sit on the ground and talk, basking in each other's company. In the middle of a conversation where Anna's talking about Chris, Ryan's cell phone rings.

She sits patiently as she watches Ryan talk, a look of concern is on his face. She doesn't want to question him once he gets off the phone. She's figured Ryan out, that if he wants you to know he'll tell you.

He tells her that it was Theresa, and Eddie is the father. The two of them have made a plan, though, not to tell Eddie, and just to say that Ryan is the father. Anna smiles slightly and says she thinks it's heroic, in a way, that he's doing this.

When Ryan leans in to kiss her, she remembers what she has to do, and pulls back. He looks hurt and she simply states that she can't do this. He doesn't need to speak, his eyes are asking her all the questions. She explains that he is going to have a family, even if he and Theresa don't get back together, and that he doesn't have enough time to have a relationship, especially a long-distace one. They both know what she says is true, and they both hate that.

They go back to the house together, somewhat apart. Anna hugs everyone goodbye, and when she hugs Ryan, he eyes become a little blurry and she tries to get into the car as fast as she can.

She gets home to Pittsburgh the next day, and as she drives past a CVS, she sees a poster for cigarettes. She almost stops the car, but then thinks about it. He wouldn't have wanted her to, and she doesn't want to. She wants to really say goodbye to him now. She doesn't want to be addicted. She's finally quit.

* * *

**A/N 2:** Wow, my first fic I finished (not abandoned, _finished_!) that wasn't a standalone. Basically, this fic was a challenge for me, because of the no-dialogue and that I made it an unhappy ending, which I hate. (Why can't we all just smile when it ends, people?) I hope you've enjoyed it, and thank you to everyone who reviewed! Told ya I'd finish it before I left!


End file.
